Thursday, October 30, 2008

As I sit
As I wait
I see her faces
I hear her voices

One above the rest
Expounds upon my mind
my memory
the past

I feel the touch
I long for

I move across the floor
Bodies swaying
fluttering, gliding
forever in circles
around and around.

I move again,
but each step
takes me back
as the room fills
entangled entities
dancing before me.

I run now
between the couples
graceful
they move from my path
with out notice

The high ceiling
filled with candles
flickers on her face
Blank and uninterested
But I must see

I reach for her
She does not move
I pull her to the floor
We become as the rest
moving through the room
Circles and circle.

All I want is to see
All I want it to hear
All I want is for her
To be there.

I continue to sway
She still hasn't awoken
From the trance

A drop forms
The last movement
of the beat
is fast approaching

She must awaken
must
before it is over.

Everyone is moving faster
anticipating the end
The dread exhumes

I hear the last line
I burst.
I stop and reach
for and embrace
the Last embrace

I fall into nothing
Nothing is around me
nothing in front

She is gone
Gone forever
into Oblivion

I sit alone
Alone in the ball room
Center under the last light remaining.

For an eternity
I stay
staring into the empty space
before my face.

The doors open
new couples float in
The overture rises
The waltz begin
again

Do I stand
Do I stay
Do I continue
Do I move
on, on and on

That time again

I periodically go through phases of depression and anxiety and I am on the brink of one again... it is coming to the anniversary of a bad time in my life and the holidays which are not good memories for me are coming up again. I am hoping I can keep a high head and stay focused, but as more stuff is piled on I find my feet and legs cannot take the pressure.
Will I make it? Will I fall? Will I have to crawl?
Only the future can tell, the future of which none can tell. I should not worry about something I cannot control, but that won't stop me. I feel like I can take on anything.

Che sara sara

Sunday, October 26, 2008

New Blog Idea- Unifying the LGBT community

I feel like we are not connected. We are not standing together but infact fighting amongst ourselves. No one believes bisexuals are really bisexual. Many do not care for transexuals and transgendered. The younger and older gays dont get along. There seems to be a rift between the Gay and lesbians.

So I plan to devout a few of my next videos to these issues. Hoping to point out the inhereit flaws in our community.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

To Struggle against the moment.



Just a quote that I have used as a personal creed for the majority of my mature life.
Enjoy

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

My Youtube

http://www.youtube.com/user/Theophi1us



And the Collab Channel I am apart of.

http://www.youtube.com/user/5SortaStraightGuys

Give it another Go

So I am going to try and actually blog again.
I have come to realize I can't vlog everything, because some things I blog would make weird videos.

So I will be posting new blogs and old ones from my other blogs around the net until I get into the swing of things